The Past, The Present, Asian Woman, and the lack of future

Good Afternoon All,
Apologies for the brief break from writing. So where to begin. Since the Elevator doors remained closed there's been a few odd additional things. Let's start with the past. You all remember the surgeon who I went out with maybe a couple of months ago who decided to get back together with his ex right? Well I received the following email (s) from home this week entitled "I'm sorry about this..."

"Hey... I apologize for contacting you..... Could you please email me at weirdo@strange.net (I deleted all your stuff already)? My girlfriend from Atlanta (remember the Asian one I spoke about) specifically asked me if I dated you...she does not even know you but she named your profile name. I think she may have a friend that can hack into the site (or has a friend that works there)....She asked me other information also that was impossible for her to know. I'm actually off this site for good but popped back on just to resolve this matter. If this is in fact the case, it's really awful and they should be stopped. Did she contact you? I'm confused. You can simply say you know nothing of the matter. Again, I apologize for contacting you... "

An hour later I received the next email entitled "hey"

"Don’t worry about what I just wrote to you. I got too nervous when she asked me about you. I promise you that I will not bother you anymore… "

I didn't write back obviously. Meanwhile the guy claims he hasn't been on the website but simply to resolve this matter, and when I just went in to copy and paste his message on here I saw he'd been active within the past four hours. I wish his girlfriend the best of luck.

In other news I went out with the IT guy again earlier this week. I think it was Monday. We met up and drove down to this town about 45 minutes from here and had dinner at this brewery. I was concerned because after researching the place online one of the reviews said that the only thing brewing after you eat there is the gas you'll have an hour later. Luckily we left unscathed and the food was actually pretty decent. I stayed safe with steak. Afterwards I suggested going for another drink and he took that to mean Starbucks. My passion tea was the most empassionaed part of the evening. At the end of some fine conversation, but nothing overly stimulating he asked if he could kiss me goodnight. Whatever, I might as well see if there was any chemistry I was missing elsewhere. It wasn't a bad kiss as in I didn't feel like I was kissing a relative, however when he stopped after a minute to throw his gum on the floor (which I didn't even notice was in his mouth) the moment (which wasn't that much of a moment) was lost. I couldn't stop laughing. We've chatted once since, but I'm not really interested.

So last night my Friday night partner and I ventured out to one of our usual haunts and almost immediately were chatted up by two guys, one bald, and one not. The not bald one who was a director at a marketing firm he referred to as the place where they call you up on Saturdays and try and get you to sign up for things seemed OK. He mentioned that he wanted to take me to dinner sometime, and I was open to the idea. A few minutes before the bars were slated to close, two woman walked in and my friend made a comment like half their outfits must have gotten lost at home. I honestly thought they were prostitutes until unbald said uh oh I hooked up with one of those girls a few times and never called her. He turned his back and looked uncomfortable. Now if he was trying to talk to me why would he tell me that? Lack of skills? Perhaps the same lack of reason (and skills) that caused him only a few moments later to show me a text she had sent him the previous day, which turned out to be a topless picture of rather large breasts for an Asian girl. "I think she may have gotten implants what do you think?" Well let's see since I (unlike him) hadn't seen them originally I didn't feel I could form an opinion.

Needless to say, I waited till he was talking to someone else and bolted out without a goodbye. At least I got a free drink, it wasn't a total loss. I think the quest for non frogs is hopeless!

Enjoy the weekend!

The Elevator Chronicles: Out of Order!

Good Evening All,

I tell you I've had this feeling all along right and I won't name which friend, but she who will remain nameless and has been telling me I'm so paranoid she will not entertain listening to me anymore better read this! I called it earlier today, and received this email just a few minutes ago. Not wanting to hide anything from my loyal readers, here's exactly what I received....

"Hi- I wanted to thank you again for bringing in the delicious lunch today. You have a real talent in the culinary arts and I'm so happy to shared your talent with me.

I also wanted to tell you about something that has been weighing heavy on my heart today. As you know, I have been having a very difficult time with my family situation. The last couple of days and especially the last week or so have made things very difficult for me...especially as I near the point where things are "final" with a significant event which will have a serious impact on my family and my kids. As you know, I've been talking with someone about how to manage through this difficult time. I talked with him this morning and he strongly advised me not to begin dating or get involved with someone during this time, and especially not until any divorce is well under way or final. That may or may not be your intent but I feel that both of us have thought about that. That said, I feel I need to be smart and not begin dating or further developing our relationship. You are an amazing and intelligent person but I do not want to move forward or mislead you. It has been a pleasure getting a chance to know you, and I hope you understand that this is not the right time for me to engage in a new relationship.

Sincerely,

Elevator"

Ok so did I call that or what? Now most of you may be saying hello I could have figured this out all along, and yes I had it figured out all along. I mean it's not like I had any intentions of marrying the infertile man who has to give 67% of his income to a wife who doesn't work while sleeping on an air mattress in an apartment that is barren outside of a Budweiser blimp, which doubles as a window shade. Nope that wasn't my intention at all, I did think a nice summer tryst would be fun but nonetheless this doesn't seem to be in order. SO I am resolving now two things, and hopefully someone will hold me to them as I'm not too good about it myself.

1. No more work involvements (although this one was a vice president so in that, I am kinda impressed with myself

2. NO more married/ divorced/ men with kids Good Lord the drama and baggage and alimony, and child support, and no assets is NOT that becoming. No offense to those who have endeavored here because with 50% of marriages ending in divorce it's virtually impossible not too. It's not that I wouldn't date someone who had been through this circumstance and was over it and had moved on, but clearly that is not who I have been wasting my time with.

Like I said, I did know this was going to happen, and had called it from the beginning. One would think my decent read on people would cause me to behave differently since I can generally always call the outcome. However- there's that troublesome part of me that just is drawn like a moth to light for a good challenge. I mean if I look at it that way, did I achieve my goal here? I suppose so, in that once again I plotted, constructed, and fulfilled another rather seemingly out there seduction. My sister says that I have commitment phobia and that's why I am drawn to clearly unavailable men? What do you think? I really need to get over this whole idea of if they're into me, I'm not into them because I suppose I could be not giving some decent people a chance.

So in the spirit of trying to behave (kinda) I sent en email to IT guy who I went out with last week. Remember the one I couldn't find anything wrong with? He actually called me last night so we shall see. Luckily outside of an email which I didn't respond to that excitedly from engineer I haven't heard much from him. I did start initial communication with another guy today who looks kind of interesting so we'll see what that yields.

And just for kicks folks and because I must ALWAYS have the last word. Here's what I wrote back to elevator. Partly because I need to have the last word, and partly because I was hoping it would elicit another response, I could use to entertain all of you. However, somehow I think his therapist made him promise to completely walk away so don't get your hopes up!

Until the next debacle. Sweet dreams, and naughty thoughts! :-)

Hi Elevator,

Thanks for your email. I appreciate your honesty. You know it's interesting because between talking to you yesterday in your office and today it seems like you definitely were emotionally 360 degrees from where you were yesterday. I think what your guy said it smart, and I know that this whole process is wrecking emotional havoc on you and your family, which has to be your priority. Knowing what you're going through my expectations were that you were definitely not in a place for a relationship, which I wouldn't intend to pursue with someone going through all that you are at this point, like your guy said. My intentions, as I enjoy talking to you and hanging out were to do just that, and have fun.

With that being said however, I do think that regardless of what my intentions were on Sat, you clearly intended for what happened afterwards to happen, and that's the only thing I have trouble with. I am pretty positive I mentioned at the casino that I am not comfortable with, nor have I ever had the experience of a one night stand so in that respect I kind of feel like not that ok with what happened the other night now. I guess I'm curious why you waited until after Saturday to send this note. I do kind of feel like you may have already known this but wanted to "test the waters" just to make sure? You do seem like too nice of a guy for that though so I do wonder. Anyway regardless of what happens next I do not wish for any awkward situation at work, and also have enjoyed getting to know you. I wish there was some type of happy medium that would allow both of us to feel more comfortable with not abandoning our core values. So there's my thoughts...if you have any additions ones I'd be happy to hear. I always think that though cliché, honesty is the best policy.

Take care,
KissedAllTheFrogs

The Elevator Chronicles: A whole lot of luck (and some skills)

Good Evening All,

Well as a shocking addendum to my bitchy post yesterday it worked out in the end! Elevator emailed me saying that he should have his kids back to their mom around 8 and still wanted to do something if I was free. We had talked about the casino but it seemed like it might be too late to get that started so I said I could drive up his way or he could come down here and he said he'd come down here. He kept writing email after email though saying are you sure that's OK, and then just as I'd cleaned up my house said he really did want to go to the casino so I was to meet him up by our office which is half way to the casino from my house.

I emailed back that I would throw on my dress and be all set to go. I also packed my contacts and a change of clothes because being that we wouldn't make it to the casino until 10 at the earliest there was no way I was going to be driving home. I called him on my way up and he said he was psyched to go so I flew up so quickly I beat him to the commuter parking lot. I was so unsure what the deal would be, and if it would be like we had never hooked up or if it was a date or who knows. You know me always over analyzing everything, and nothing. Anyway I stepped into his car and the first thing he did was give me a nice kiss on the lips and tell me that I looked beautiful, which was very sweet. I guess I made a good choice on my new black and white strappy dress. Anyway he was dressed very nicely and told me that he'd brought a long a sports jacket too because he thought I'd like that. When we pulled into valet parking we looked very snazzy getting out together.

On the way up we mainly talked about his kids, wife, and the divorce drama. His wife had implied that she had gone on a date and he was telling me about that. I said the best thing he could do was to hook her up and get her remarried so he could save on alimony, which he agreed with me on. I do hope he sees a lawyer because he's so bent on not pissing her off to risk any problems with getting as much visitation with his kids as possible, he's in some ways letting her take advantage I think. Anyway upon arrival at the casino he asked if I wanted to go to the martini bar (hmm like that took a lot of pondering) We somehow managed the best seat in the house overlooking the whole casino. It was the perfect spot. Somewhere in between martinis he started holding my hand and continued to the entire time we were drinking. We never played any slots, but I did spend two hours at the poker table with 75 he gave me to spend and 40 of my own. I only lost my own 40 (gave him back his $$) and that's pretty good for that duration of time at 15 + a hand minimum. I think he was impressed. Somewhere along the way he ordered me some red wine, which contributed significantly to this hang over I've been nursing all day.

So the night gets a little foggy here because I know I was really drunk while I was playing poker, I do recall making out in some area of the casino and him telling me to stop getting him so excited in the casino. Now I also recall a conversation involving the topic of condoms, but not sure exactly where that went, and me with my rant about how I don't do one night stands (which is true!). Somewhere I also found out he had not been with anyone aside from his wife I think it had been like 15 years. Around 3:30 AM we decide to leave the casino and go back to his place. I was definitely still really buzzed but sober enough to carry on a conversation I don't recall any of ;-) So back at his place somehow we took our places back on that festive air mattress, and the clothes found their places back on the floor. And then yes folks, somehow along the way we went all the way.

So let me start by saying this is totally not "me" behavior as my sister pointed out. I mean although I was very much into it, and the prime initiator of this mornings bonus round it's just very unlike me to have sex with someone I'm not in an established relationship with. I was OK with it at the time but I think am definitely second guessing and doing my usual freaking out like oh my god if this turns into a one night stand I'm not going to be able to handle it. I haven't heard from him today and of course that freaks me out, though knowing that I got home at 9 and got 3 additional hours of sleep bringing my grand total to maybe 5 hours, while he was out watching his kids all day - makes me think maybe he went to bed early.

What was particularly cute about last night/ this morning is again how nervous he was, and how he always tells me. I mean I can't blame the dude, first time with someone new in like 15 years. I must say I do feel kinda honored. Oh and don't let me forget the best news of all! He's fixed! There's nothing that says immediate turn on then there's no way in hell I'm getting pregnant - that was the bonus luck! All in all assuming this is more then a one night stand (which I would aim for a hot summer fling) I don't have regrets. My grandmother told me after I was filling her in (no not on any of the intimate parts) that it's not easy being a step mom. I was like seriously I think we're getting WAY ahead of ourselves here. So funny. Meanwhile my thinking is that being the first person he's dated or whatever our deal is after his wife I am kinda like the rebound chick. My only expectations really are that he's respectful enough to keep this going for at least a few weeks to a month. Then I think I could morally live with it a lot better.

In any event I'm quite curious to see if he contacts me on IM tomorrow. I'm working in the AM and then heading an hour East for a summer fun pool party for my team, which I would love for him to meet me after. He had mentioned he thought he could do that but not sure if he remembers. So only time will tell who if anyone is freaking out besides me, and what will happen next.

By the way being as hungover as I am I still had another date tonight with the engineer. We really have nothing in common and I wasn't attracted to him but I kind of want to fix him up with my friend who I think he'd hit it off better with. Is that rude? I think after going out once it isn't that bad. I can't keep juggling all these people it's highly exhausting! Engineer and I went to shoot pool, and then to dinner and the biggest event of interest was when his car wouldn't start but luckily that problem resolved itself. It did feel kinda weird after spending the night with elevator to be out with this guy, but at least I got another good meal ;-)

So I think it's time for some much deserved rest! I'll update tomorrow hopefully on what happens next. Any thoughts? Please give me some feedback.

Hope everyone had a great weekend and sweet dreams!

The Elevator Chronicles: Stuck between floors

Good Afternoon All,
So I've been having this sneaking suspicion, which my friends have become increasingly annoyed by that something was going to go wrong for tonight. Forget the thunder making the boat ride impossible cause I was looking forward to the casino. However I woke up to a VM from elevator saying that his kids, and wife all have the stomach flu and he's been taking care of them, and she's unable to. I guess he had tried to text me but after oral surgeon was stalking me I blocked all texts. Just as I was about to call back I got an email pretty much saying the same thing. As I was kinda thinking before I think elevator is going to take this as a sign that he's not ready to really date because he needs to focus on his kids, which is probably true. Oh well all that's well likely ends well. Onto tomorrow date with engineer....

Date # 1 of the week- Beware of the flying cape

Good Evening All,

Last night was the beginning of this weeks line up with IT guy. Actually he's kind of like a consultant/ sales/ explainer person but IT guy is much easier to type. As he should he agreed to meet me right in the town I live so it was nice and convenient for me. I like it. He called and told me he was running late, which contrary to some people I could care less about. I had just run in from a devious mani/ pedi appt, and all day lounging at a pool pretending to work, and wanted to put my feet up, again! Back to the mani/ pedi for a moment. So this nice little Asian man was doing my feet and apparently all he could say to communicate was yes manicure and pedicure. Well first he starts massaging my feet and since I am insanely ticklish I am hysterically laughing. People are staring at this point, and if that isn't bad enough once he stops with the feet he squirts some oil on my legs and literally starts slapping them so hard it's out of control. The entire spa is seriously staring at me and my friend is hysterical. I didn't know what to do. He was as elevator said when I told him the story clearly living out some weird fantasy.

OK so back to the date he looked enough like his pictures- over 6 feet, nice full head of hair. Wearing shorts and a button down (no long coats) we'll get to the capes later...Actually there's not much to report as he was nice, smart, seemed emotionally stable, and paid attention to previous discussions we had had asking insightful questions. I tried my first sushi (only veggie with sweet potato) and we had a yummy meal complete with a few lychee martinis for me (if you haven't indulged please don't hesitate SO good!). Conversation flowed nicely. We started talking about exes and dates and he asked me what my last ex did wrong. "Nothing. He was just boring" I replied. I told him I cannot be attracted to people without whom I have that witty flirty banter. While I wasn't feeling it with him initially I guess I'd give him a second chance. He already sent the next day email saying he wanted to see me again. I really couldn't find anything wrong with him so I will try and be open minded. Now some of my friends are insisting I am not into him or the other cause I am into elevator. Hmm there may be some truth to that. Why must I always want the unattainable...

So anyway back to the weird date stories. After I finished regaling him with tails of oral surgeon he told me about how he knew a girl who showed up for a date and he was wearing a caper. A CAPE. Was he superman in costume? I guess not. Kinda makes the long coat seem not so freaking weird right? The other story he told was about his friend who had a girl from NJ drive up to meet him at his apartment in NYC. When she called and said she was outside he asked her if she would like to park and come up and she said she didn't feel comfortable. No problem he told her so he came down and she was still in the car. Aren't you going to get out he asked? She still didn't feel comfortable apparently. This went back and forth until finally she agreed to get out, and it turns out she was disabled and had to arm crutches. Now that isn't a big deal except for the fact she lied about it. She then yelled and said you wouldn't have dated me anyway or wanted to meet me, and he responded as I would, that you didn't have enough faith in me to let me make that decision so he said he didn't feel comfortable. He went upstairs and she got back in the car. Hopefully this didn't occur with gas prices as high as they are now. IT himself had a girl yell at him because he was late and literally scream at him in public even though he called. I guess he also said that girls misrepresent their weight a lot in correspondence. I must have been a dream come true :-)

So that's that and we shall see if we make another plan. Tomorrow I am meeting elevator at 7 PM (you heard right a once in a lifetime second date) and we're going possibly on the boat for a little sunset cruise if it's not thundering and then to the casino. I suggested and he seemed pleased. I think I'll be rocking my new black and white cute dress, which should be dressy yet casual enough for the casino. I am bummed that I probably won;t be able to debut the new bikini though. I actually got little string bikinis painted on my big toes (not by the S & M) man. Super cute! So since I am super paranoid I am always convinced that elevator and I won't end up going out but I guess we shall see. Tonight was our first phone call and we exchanged numbers and he called me en route to picking up his kids for the evening, and said he was really looking forward to tomorrow.

Monday we took our walk, and it wasn't awkward at all which was nice. We've been chatting a lot on IM, and Tuesday he told me he was going to blow out of work early for a baseball game and said he wished I could come. I said I probably could jokingly and he calls his friend to see if they had an extra ticket, which they didn't which was fine. So from his blackberry he sent me a total of 59 emails that day from the game, the bar, the subway, and the train home getting flirtier as the night went on. It was basically like iming over email. Thursday when we were chatting on IM he told me he was really distracted during the day by last week, and not wanting to be presumptuous I asked about what and he said hmm it has to do with you so I said good distraction or bad distraction to which he replied good. Then I had to do it and asked if he was freaking out. So he replies no. You know my situation and I'm not freaking out just hoping I treated you OK enough. I told him I wasn't shy and I would let him know so he seemed relived with that. So I am still of course not convinced anything is coming of this until a few more outings occur if they do, but so far I must admit he's my favorite. We definitely have chemistry, and he's really sweet.

So stay tuned for tales from the casino, and perhaps (hopefully) another (respectable) overnight :-)