from Brillo pad head to 1000 reasons for a second date

Good Evening All,

Catch up time continues. After grilled chicken boy went back to his mom and dads house, where he lived. Again, another thing I could not quite come to terms with- I spring boarded right back into another pile of crazies.

There was the one who worked at a mutual fund who was nice enough, great restaurant, barely a brush of the lips, and then a phone call all the way home. It seemed the potential for a second date might have been there except for the fact he decided to request me as a facebook friend. Now here's the problem with that. I've got pics from my Halloween party of pumpkins depicting blow jobs and rear entry positions. Granted they were the coolest pumpkins ever, but those and the pics of my roommate and I simulating the rear entry pumpkin drunk outside my house (clothed thank you) are not exactly what a new guy needs to be seeing. If I don't accept him I seem shady, and if I do, I seem shadier. I decided too, and somehow the offer of a second date did not come...if you have a problem with pumpkin porn, probably not a serious relationship in the cards for you with me buddy!

Then we had the accountant who I told upfront I have huge issues with men not having a full head of hair. No problem he told me he had a complete and total head of hair. We decided to meet at a restaurant I hadn't been to in years pretty soon after we began talking for dessert. No he wasn't lying about the full head of hair, in fact his hair was a Brillo pad. If I didn't have a cleaning woman already to clean my stuff up, I would have grabbed him and started scrubbing- something, anything. He has followed up a bunch of times since even recently and this was at the end of October, but I just can't handle the hair thing. As vain as it sounds- anyone who claimed they didn't have physical preferences would lying. I told him the oral surgeon asking for his money back story and so here's the email he wrote after our date

"You knew this was coming, I hope it was worth the wait:

Itemized Bill Monday, October 20, 2008
Item # Description Time (in hours) Rate/hour total
1 Date Prep 1 200 200
2 Travel time To 0.75 200 150
3 Dessert 2 200 400
4 Travel time Back 0.75 200 150
5 Post Date Thinking 0.5 200 100
TOTAL OWED GROSS 1000
However, you get a 20% "Good Date" discount because I found you to be very attractive, interesting, smart, sexy, fun, witty, tasteful in ordering and I actually enjoyed your company
Total after Discount 800
Payment can be to my favorite Charity, The Hooters Scholarship Foundation "

Points for creativity and originality but sorry just not feeling him.

So we moved onto the 36 year old divorcee, pay attention cause there's another one of these coming up- whose wife had issues. It seems all the divorced guys wives had issues but not them? Hmmm anyway he sold airline equipment and we were supposed to go out, but the night before I decided to go out to a club with my friend and roommate and consume 5 drinks and about 12 shots in a less than three hour period, purchased by a myriad of guys I told it was my 22nd birthday too (for the record I am not 22, 25 :-) I became violently ill shortly after and spent the next 72 hours nursing a horrible hangover I wouldn't wish on anyone. I decided to tell the guy the truth knowing it would make me sound young and immature but at least I was honest. He texted me about how he wasn't sure what was going on and I should be truthful. Hello- I am being truthful I sound like a moron, I would have made up a better story if we were talking fiction. After we ironed that out we agreed to meet a week later after work at a restaurant near my office. Yes, he did have his hair, but he wasn't all together too interesting. I tried to communicate that vibe but he kept texting me when he was out of the country saying he missed me- you'd be amazed how long it takes this wackos to get the hint!

Next I believe came this guy who while was not divorced was just out of a drama engagement and a six year relationship. He had too much hair, with it being a bit long, but seemed pretty attractive and we had a good rapport on the phone. He worked in NYC in some type of TV media thing I frankly forgot about. I must say his restaurant choice was excellent, and the food was phenomenal. We both shared a clear love for bread pudding, and red wine. The conversation flowed, but unfortunately he was moving the next week to NYC. I may have been able to deal with the hair thing, but once we met, I noticed when he talked that his two front teeth were noticeably longer than all of the others, which made me believe he may be a vampire. I do not need my blood being sucked!

A few weeks ago I endeavored to go out with a consultant who is also 36 and divorced. The emails, and calls went well, and he told me he would give me some ideas of where to go. I liked his initiative and selected ice-skating from his list of three options. Now I had not ice-skated since I was likely a child, and I doubt I was good then. The date began with him waiting outside the restaurant I suggested near the rink, which had been shut down. Since he didn't seem like a serial killer I got in the car with him and took him to my favorite middle eastern haunt that's known for it's eclectic atmosphere, horrible service, and amazing food. He had mentioned his stomach was a little off, but polished down his food, with great compliment. Ice Skating went well, and as a guy I have to hand it to him for coming up with a strategic location where he had to know I would be gripping his hand for dear life. Now one thing I did find pretty odd was that he choose to get figure skating skates, after telling me to get ice-hockey skates. Sounds a little gay no? Anyway again, not really feeling the vibe. You see if the guy tries too hard, me being me and liking a challenge is immediately turned off.

What is trying to hard you may wonder? Here's a good example. Again an excerpt from the following days email from him...

"Hi, I had a great time, and I would love to see you again. Now, before you think about the risk you took to life and limb on date number one, and the record you want to continue about second dates, I thought that I would throw out a couple of reasons why we should go out again…

-No one ended up falling, or in the hospital, despite our best efforts

-We figured out a way to hold hands for most of the evening without feeling awkward (well… I felt off balance more than anything)

-You took me to your favorite restaurant, and I loved the food. You see, we are already finding common interests (and tastes)

-You impressed me with how well you skated right out of the gate… isn’t that what you want from your date? To be impressed with you?

-I can come up with something really creative for date number 2 I will give you a call, and I really hope to see you soon."

Ok this is not a trial where I need supporting evidence. I made it pretty obvious after that email, which yes I suppose you could say was kinda cute (not so much to me) that I was not interested in that second date. As they say in writing- show, don't tell!

I think that about covers the recent escapades and brings you all up to speed on the recent group of suitors. In preparation for the New Year we've got some new ones in the pipeline.

There's the Physician Assistant, new to the area who I spoke with for over an hour yesterday who wants to get together when he comes back from a trip to CA

The Race Car Engineer, I spoke with today also for over an hour who wants to get together when he comes back from a week in Florida.

The 4th year psychiatric medical resident from MA who I have dinner plans with for Tuesday. He told me he doesn't prescribe drugs on the first date- perhaps I'll give him a second so I can get something to handle the firsts with the others!

Until Tuesdays night's recap. Stay warm, & Act hot!

ice skating consultant