Honestly, mostly honesty is the best policy when you disagree with their policies!

Good Evening,

After the handshaking debacle a few people including my Grandmother told me to give lawyer the benefit of the doubt and go out again. Our plan was for a Sunday evening and he offered to come to my town but I strongly discouraged it- my reasoning. When a guy wants to hang out on a work night near where you live, by a certain time of night there is nothing to do and that's when it seems like a great idea (to them) to invite themselves to your place. Now once they walk in the door, you can be assured that in their mind sex is right there on the table. It's not on my table, and my house is full of tables so that was just not an option. Therefore I opted to venture a few towns south of where I live where we could meet by the water and hang out.

As we met he was once again on his cell, but that I could shrug off as I am guilty of the same though usually hang up before I leave my car. As we walked along the water we meandered to an area he claimed to be his favorite spot. You know what those are like, the more secluded area where the walkway extends out further and the wood is carved with initials and non prosaic statements and questions by teenagers who felt cool making out there past curfew. When I asked how many girls he had brought their previously he claimed none but I just couldn't believe it. As we walked and chatted somehow the topic of deal breakers came up. He mentioned how their was an exception to every rule and I said that's true, for example one of my non budgable qualities is a full head of hair ( I can't help it everyone has preferences!). When I thought about it though I decided suppose someone who had shaved their head in support of a relative or friends who was God forbid going through chemo would be an exception.

Obviously living at home is another deal breaker for me. Now of course there are exceptions such as recently divorced, going through graduate school, or at home to aid an ailing parent/ relative. However, after having owned my own home for five years now and still (yes still) being under the age of 30 I have a low tolerance for this. When we were discussing exceptions he said kind of like my situation. "What do you mean!?" I gasped. "You don't live at home."

"You know I do. I told you that"

"OK clearly I would remember that. You have a studio apartment in the next town?"

"Ummm, are you confusing me with another one of your dates? I never said that, I have an office in the next town, and I don't live there"

"But, I could swear you said that. Trust me I definitely would have remembered that!"

OK so he's 3 years older than I and his parents basically said that because he was working on building his legal practice he should just live at home. He claimed it was cost him $3000 a month. Now I know we live in one of the priciest areas of the country, but come on. Maybe to live like your parents live, where a housekeeper takes care of everything and you have a large place indicative of having worked for a longer period of time that he had, but come on. At 32 you should want to not live with your parents. You should be willing to live in a cheaper town, rent a room, get a studio. I would sleep in the small office instead of being one of those that's enabled. My reaction was obviously dramatic to him, so he asked if if I felt I needed to cal a friend and discuss or go home. Hell no, I drove 30 miles out of my way and hear that this guy who mooches off his parents now was trying to get out of buying me dinner. I don't think so. He suggested a pub, and I nixed that. I wasn't going for crap food after this convo. Instead we opted for his ex gf's favorite Asian Fusion place, which turned out to be great. For once, I broke my own rules and ordered the steak (It was an Asian place, only $22) because this guy clearly blows several hundred a week on booze and eating out every day (hmm enough for rent perhaps?). Anyway the ex had great taste in restaurants, but not in men, well maybe since she's moved on...

After dinner, I had a bad taste in my mouth, but not from the delectable food, however from the laziness of this moocher. To top it off, I just really did not like his personality. I guess I knew that from the beginning to an extent but was willing to give it a try. As we were in the car about to say goodbye, I was concerned with it being the 4th date and my success record of avoiding a kiss. He started to lean in but it was intermittent, like a woodpecker...I started laughing and that luckily killed the moment. I got away with a closed mouth wouldn't be incestuous if it was your Uncle kiss. I have to say he was good with the follow up and I heard from him daily. He even invited me to go out on his friends boat for the upcoming weekend. Although I initially texted I didn't feel we because I was hungover from the previous night (true), I really just didn't want to lead him on and meet his friends and then subsequently announce I didn't like his personality or some nicer excuse. My friends made me promise not to back down and so I did it I called and said that I had been thinking about it and I just couldn't deal with the living at home thing.

"It won't be forever" he claimed. However three years seemed to be forever to me, and he didn't even have any seemingly close plans to consider it. "Don't you think that's shallow?" he exclaimed.

"Actually the correct use of the word (this English lesson for a lawyer, go figure) would be if I said you didn't make enough $$ for me"

And soon after the convo was awkwardly over, thank goodness I was free of the bad personality, living at home lawyer.

So who else was on the horizon? Well, I was supposed to meet the teacher and he sent me an email suggesting lunch at this dive bar known for having crap food so I wrote back and suggested about 8 other places (not too pricey or anything just not crappy) citing that the place was just not known for its food. I got an email back the next day (day before our date) saying he was going to have to do something he didn't do too often and cancel due to the fact school was starting, and he was working on starting a business, writing a novel, and also was overwhelmed by the response of people who wanted to date him since he began online dating. Now here was my sympathy date. Someone I figured since he lived in the next town and seemed OK, although I didn't find his pics attractive I would give it a try. I am not sure who these people are who are overwhelming him (is another one or two overwhelming?) but I didn't care. I was relieved to have the time back in my schedule, and have avoided eating crap food. His email went on to say that he sincerely did want to meet me and this was in no way to avoid going out, he was just overwhelmed. He asked me to contact him in 3-4 weeks and then he definitively wanted to start something. I couldn't hit the delete button fast enough!

So whom do you ask do we have left in the current and ever changing line up? There's still the analyst, whom I am supposed to be chatting by phone with for the first time tomorrow and potentially meeting for dinner this weekend.

The consultant from years ago has once again (third time was not a charm) disappeared so he's out for now

In new news, we've got a psychologist I spoke to on the phone from the next state who suggested potential drinks for next week, another lawyer who is moving to my state shortly who I've been exchanging long emails with, the newest recruit today's new match who I found out through our exchanging of info is divorced with a three year old son across the country, and whose family are Mormon zealots, but my friend thought he sounded nice so I should keep corresponding. Now if that isn't a potentially titillating cast of characters for next week what is? By tomorrow half could be gone, and a new few could emerge. Until then, take care!