Monday, August 10, 2009

To shake or not to shake- that is the questions, or is it the answer?

Good Afternoon All,

As promised I made my weekend date with the lawyer after finding out the consultant had to go out of town. Let me backtrack a bit...last year, specifically in January of 08 after a serious relationship ended the first guy I started talking to was consultant. Since I was still bummed about the other relationship ending, and was weary about meeting someone new I hesitated to meet in person. Consultant and I sent wonderfully long, and introspective emails for close to two months, and I found out ironically one of the main companies he consulted for was my company. After a few months and maybe 1 or 2 calls or communication ceased, and I wondered what had happened. I wasn't too surprised to get an email that was extremely nice but basically said around the same time he started talking to me he started also talking to someone else he had met in person, and wanted to be fair to both of us and see where it went with her. I was disappointed but there were many frogs to meet so I moved on. Fast forward to the fall of 08 where my company had rumors floating around about lay-offs and I remembered that consultant was working with highers ups who impacted the financial decisions at our company so after discovering that he still worked for the same company I sent him a casual email asking if he knew anything about lay-offs and it was well received. We went back and forth with him mentioning he didn't want to lose touch again.


Just as it happened the last time though less prescriptively we lost touch and I started dated my ex, dentist/roomie. A few weeks after he moved out tough, I sent consultant a casual email saying it's time for our once every 9-10 months hello and if he wanted to catch up sometime to let me know. It took about ten days (because of him being out of town due to a serious family illness) but he did get back to me saying that he did want to get together and inquired when would work. We had planned for Friday but he had to go back out of town, and after texting back and forth over the weekend I am hoping we'll solidify plans soon. It would be nice after knowing so much about each other through email for over a year and a half to actually meet in person in any context.


So back to Friday- after finding out Consultant was busy I agreed to give lawyer a third chance (rare for me as I usually am the two date wonder, as in they wonder why they never get a third date). We agreed to meet in a town in between where both of us live and as we walked in I was quite surprised to see a close friend there dining with someone. I introduced the lawyer to my friends and he saw down, there was no handshake! I had never seen anything like it. Although he claimed to say hi, even after me motioning for him to come over and reiterating that these were my friends he continued to sit. I was in awe. Am I blowing this out of control? Come to find out when I saw my friend the next day her friend had said lawyer seemed sketchy because he didn't in fact shake their hands, or make good eye contact- see I am not the only one who appreciates proper etiquette. Once we were eating I commented to lawyer that he seemed not to be in a good mood. He admitted he was stressed about work, and while I can certainly sympathize with that my feeling is that on the third date you need to bring it. Put your best foot forward or cancel like last time. My other concern is that two out of three times we've met there has been trouble at work so could he be too high maintenance?


Moving on from dinner we again went out to get some ice cream and since I was buying some chocolate to take home I said I would pay for the ice cream. Now he claims that he did say thank you but I didn't hear it. Ok I can give him the benefit of the doubt for that but still was unsettled about the handshaking thing. When I mentioned to him that I couldn't believe he didn't shake my friends hands, and he claimed he thought they were just acquaintances, but what does it matter? I shake everyone's hands regardless of how important I think they are to the person who has introduced us. As we sat outside and chatted with our ice cream the topic of sex came up. So how many times if you are in a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship do you think you should have sex a week? Again sizing me up for how I'd be as a girlfriend, but what are you bringing to the table as a potential boyfriend? He started to tell me about how relationships often end because of a disagreement about sex, but I made sure to tell him that it's not the sex that's the problem it's a consequence of a larger problem. If a girl doesn't want to have sex with you when your her boyfriend it's more than likely for a reason other than sex.


After mentioning that I didn't think the date was going that well I agreed to go for a drink. As we walked into the first option I saw what I am still 100% was two men kissing. He told me that they were talking to a shorter woman and he thought that one of them kissed the woman not the man. It was still not acceptable for me so we moved onto the next place, which he soon vetoes because he said it had a weird odor, along with a lot of underage looking kids smoking outside, seemed to be a running theme where we went, though this time we were in a very wealthy town. You couldn't tell that by the next place we finally ended up in, a pretty male dominated sports bar/ restaurant where the drinks were subpar and the atmosphere was just not there for me. Lawyer's mood improved and he mentioned he thought things were going better but the earlier mood had kinda set a bad tone for me. As the night went on I knew being our third date he was definitely going to try and make a move, but just not feeling it no altoid went in my mouth, and I wasn't looking for anything else there either. As he learned in for the kiss I must have given a some kind of look or something because he almost immediately backed away and asked if he could kiss me on the cheek. I said sure that's chivalrous and awkwardly departed for the night. Later on he sent me a text saying he hoped I got home safely and he would be really nice to me in the future. The next day I got another text saying I should shake my friends hand at the movies. I mentioned I was going to the movies with the same friend he didn't shake hands with during our date the following day.


I didn't respond because I wasn't quite sure how to take it, and last night he left me a vm around 9 telling me to call back and he'd be up late. Tonight I must return the call and in my general blunt and honest way I think I will tell him my concerns. I am torn between giving up but also with financially impactful news that was negative today and a large car repair bill wondering if I should give it one more spin to get another free drink/ meal. Can't hurt right? Hey guys do not get a period, or give birth, we totally deserve the free drinks!


So who else is on the horizon you may wonder? Well there's the teacher whose pics I am not attracted too who I have a lunch date planned for Sunday with since I figured I should at least give him a chance.


There's also the analyst who looks diff in every pic who lives 2 hours away that I've been emailing for a few weeks. His company pays for him to keep an apartment in London. No word of meeting yet but I imagine it will come.


In addition, there's the incredibly hot stockbroker who I sent my number to yesterday after he suggested meeting up sometime. He's from western Canada originally and was of course a professional ice hockey player.


And then we're still waiting on whether the long awaited meeting with consultant will ever actually take place...stayed tuned cause things can only get more dramatic, more twisted, and more feisty.


Until then...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

seems like a lot of ice cream on these dates! Good thing you are not lactose intolerant. lol

Coritabee said...

ahhh the spanish kiss when they're introduced to someone... imagine that :P