FLASHBACK: Jack-O-Latern out of season, with good reason.

Good Evening All,

Sorry to disappoint but there's no news from Elevator Man. He was out all AM, and in meetings until the afternoon when he left early. Maybe the wife needed him at home? Anyway no communication. However I did rope my co worker into a covert operation to the area we thought he might sit in so we could try and stake out his office this AM while he was out and look for family photos. The mission was aborted after proving unsuccessful so the mystery continues. Not to worry, I'll be back at the office on Thursday eagerly soaking up the cool air that's being provided on my company's dime! Chatted with Almost MBA for a bit tonight but we got cut off and I didn't realize until a few minutes ago he had called right back so I figured it might be too late to call. Will try and touch base tomorrow....Also got a number emailed to me today from a new frog, he's a young one from the next state over. Three years my junior. Asked me to give him a call. Does that count as robbing the cradle?

So since I have no new elevator news thought I'd share a tale of online non bliss, and no kiss from the past. This all went down about 7 or 8 years ago so quite sometime. When I was newly single after my high school into college though it should have been called off in high school relationship came to a lilting end. I decided to explore the world of Internet dating. Ahhhh so much fun and so many more frogs in far proximity that had no idea the restaurant I said was great in the area was the most expensive one I couldn't ever get anyone local to take me too (sans the high school ex). Just think in all these instances no one ever asked for their money back...

Shortly after I posted my profile, I got an email from a guy, senator wannabe and we exchanged photos, chatted by phone and made plans to meet. Senator wannabe was a little shorter then what I was looking for, at 5’10, but he seemed cute in the picture, and was very ambitious. After changing the plans a few times we agreed to meet at the mall, my fathers sanctioned public locale in case the guy was an evil rapist. My sister who was in high school, and also under 100lbs and my father appointed body guard of choice was busy that night so I went at it solo. When I got to the mall I called his cell phone from mine and was talking to him until we saw each other and hung up. It looked like a scene from “Clueless” as we flipped our phones down and walked towards each other. Hey this was barely 2000 so forgive the old school chick flick reference please.

The first thing I noticed was that he was a few inches at least, shorter then he claimed to be. He couldn’t possibly have been taller then 5’7” and he didn’t look that much like his picture. This, as time went on I would learn was a running theme in Internet dating. We decided to eat at the the mall (not sure how I missed out on the pricey restaurant here) and the conversation flowed pretty well. Senator wannabe was from a wealthy town about an hour away and wanted to spend most of the time talking about his time on a political campaign and all of the people whom his father knew. He was clearly stuck-up, but for my father sake I tried to give him a chance. After all he was ahhh yes one of the Chosen People!

Upon the conclusion of the rather uneventful, but highly bragging dinner, in the same format that all of the other dates had taken, we headed back to my parents house. My father liked to assess everyone. My parents got into this big conversation on the town they used to live in with senator wannabe and I was so bored I considered calling up a friend to chat. As I often did in life, I wondered if my parents would ever leave the room. The conversation soon morphed into the fact that the guy had been recently voted into the Board of Education in his town and he was telling my father about the propaganda he had distributed during his campaign. After he had told my parents that he knew the state senator about 17 times, I had already counted how many family pictures adorned our living room, and noticed several spots of discoloration on the ceiling.

We finally decided to go upstairs because when he looked at his watch he realized that “Law and Order” was on and asked if I minded if he watched it. I had never seen the show before but was enjoying it a lot since it was certainly more enticing than conversing with him. This was until I bit into a Godiva Truffle (my usual choice snack) and half of my front tooth flew out of my mouth. Ok maybe it was really bonding but I still looked like a Jack O Lantern. I wasn’t in that much pain but I was certainly embarrassed as I scurried out of the room to call my dentist at home who luckily agreed see me the next morning. Actually my conversation with her was much more interesting than senator wannabe or "Law and Order" but alas I had to return back to the room where the bonding lay.

Soon after the tooth incident, senator wannabe had to head out (hmm I wonder why) so as I walked him to the door, with my hand covering my mouth, I knew I had more then a perfect excuse not to kiss him goodnight. Although I was unhappy that I looked like I had been punched in the mouth, it was a blessing in disguise because I avoided a kiss, citing irrevocable tooth pain, and happily closed the door behind him. He instant messaged me frequently after the date and asked me out to dinner several times, but I declined because I didn’t want him to get the idea I was interested. My tooth was fixed though and turned out immaculate thanks to the work of my amazing dentist, to whom I was a very frequent visitor (and still am) , as a result of my fixation on Godiva chocolate. With a brand new filling and a perfect smile I was ready to meet the next guy, in my string of online suitors.

Hope you all enjoyed a little glimpse of frogs, the early version! Hopefully tomorrow updates will ensue.

Nite All!