All's not fair in "friends" and Dining (love & war is just too cliche)

Good Evening All,

So for the past two weeks or so I began talking to a guy I met online on the phone. This guy sounded great on paper. An oral surgeon, owns his own place in NYC, loves witty banter like myself, swears he has a full head of hair. We talk nightly for hours at a time, as I've never met someone who I had to be the one to end calls with. I've reached a historic moment in life when I find someone who wants to talk more then I do. This is serious! We discuss meeting and he says he's willing to make his way out of the city life to travel to the suburbs. He has to cancel our first plan as a result of a cold (he did mention post nasal drip in a sentance more times then those at my grandmas nursing home do). In any event with a open mind I was determined to give this one a chance!

When we talked about rescheduling he was pushy about me changing plans saying that it must be a girl thing to be loyal and keep plans with a friend. He said if a guy had plans with one of his friends and had the chance to meet a girl they wouldn't care if he cancelled. I countered with the fact that I thought my loyalty and commitment to previous plans should bode well in terms of meeting someone with the potential to have a relationship. Most people do like that whole commitment thing- go figure. Anyway I decided the first chance I could meet was this past Thursday. I emailed him the name of the place I selected and we picked a time. Although I had seen his pictures, I feel that unless you see someone in person you really don't know what they look like. I'll save some stories about this for another night, another post. I wasn't really attracted to his pictures but I thought he's not hideous, let me try and be open minded. I even waived my typical over 5'10" rule and agreed to go out with Mr. 5'8".

I got to the restaurant and he sauntered over to me in a long black coat, a tighter then I'd like to see on a dude t-shirt(not that i want to see a chick in a tight shirt either), and jeans holding a glass of ice water (super cool!). The long coat made me think he was in some type of cult or clearly unaware of the fact it was the month of May. Dinner went off without a major hitch outside of me bumping my head on the corner of a room divider when I got up to use the ladies room. I ordered an delicious vegetable napolean appetizer and a side of pasta, too tired to even drink wine. He got a pasta dinner and ordered a side of grilled chicken, and a glass of Pinot. He didn't actually eat the grilled chicken as he said it would make a nice lunch for the following day. Conversation flowed decently and we even shared a delectable tiramisu. I could tell that I wasn't attracted to him but contemplated giving him a second date anyway. When the check came I graciously offered to pay my half, and he declined and I turned my cheek to the side just to make sure there was no mixed signal I was interested in a kiss and parted ways.

I knew my Grandma would be disappointed the next day when I told her I wasn't into the oral surgeon, but little did she and everyone else know, I would soon have much better reason then no physical attraction. The day after the date (Friday, a work day for those of us who work 5 day weeks), the oral surgeon (who worked max 3x a week) calls my cell at 11:22 AM and hangs up without leaving a VM. Not even 8 minutes later he calls back and leaves me a message saying he was surprised I couldn't get his call because he saw that I was online (that music on the Lifetime movies where the stalkers lurk outside the middle school softball fields comes to mind). When I go to my computer I see that he's tried to IM me. Now I had told him the previous day my weekend was busy and I also was in a hectic period at work. As the day went on I had plans and never had the chance nor desire to call him back. The next day after I returned home from visiting a friend midafternoon I refreshed my email and in a twist even I couldn't predict here's what I saw....

Hi,OK, so apparently you do not want anything romantic with me. That's fine. However, I feel that since we went out to dinner as "just friends," it would be nice if you paid for your dinner (and lunch the next day). If you knew you didn't want anything further with me, you should have insisted on paying your share of the bill and not let me pay for you. When you offered, I thought you were just making the "obligatory gesture" so I wouldn't think you were selfish. You took advantage of the fact that I believe in chivalry. The issue is not the amount of money here...it's just that I wouldn't pay for my friend's dinner unless it was their birthday or something special, so why should I pay for you? I did drive up over an hour to CT to meet you. It would just be nice and fair if you paid your share...

The bill including tip came out to $60. Please send me a check for $30. Please send the check to:
Seriously he was stupid enough to put his actual address hereShould be in a loony bin, NY 66666

I know this is a little weird in our "accepted" dating culture, but never-the-less, it does make sense. I did enjoy talking to you and would like to have played some good scrabble :)
Hope all is well,
Oral Surgeon

As I read this I felt my heart racing, not because I was upset just because I was so confused that this dude actually had the gall to write and send this email. Since then I've shared this with the bridal shower, many friends, and my Grandma who was concerned he might sue me and said that he was seriously disturbed. That seems to be the consensus. So my plan here was either to send him monopoly money or an email back with a list of mental health professionals in his area wishing him best of luck in a cure for his personality disorder. Any suggestions?

Keep in mind, what if I had actually liked him and just been really busy during the less then 24 hours I didn't respond to his call. He certainly blew it! In addition, let me point out again that my meal at the most cost $15 bucks so he wasn't just trying to get his fair share, he was actually trying to profit off of me. This is again from an oral SURGEON. And people wonder why I am frustrated when they complain about their husbands. As much as they think they suck, trust me looking for one sucks a LOT more. I look forward to all feedback on any potential email responses I should send this maniac. Just remember this actually happened, and luckily for you....I made it out alive away from the long coat wearing, cheap, mentally psychotic oral surgeon. For your own safety- beware! He's lurking out there trying to find his next victim of dinner date check rape.